…so, look out for what you allow to be done to “them.”
Our interpersonal relationships and interactions matter.
The impact your actions have on others (which come in the form of reactions and responses and their opinions/impressions) MATTER, no matter how many “harden up” and “don’t care about what they think” sayings there are. And, sorry to tell you: intention is NOT everything.
Intentions fuel actions, so the results of those actions reflect, too.
If a person acts with good intention and get bad results, it’s not considered as “bad” as the same with bad intentions. However, the bad results are still there. [And if you act without intention, the results still speak… but that’s another topic for another day.]
Someone else should not have the power to affect your autonomy and self-esteem (look two words before the beginning of these parenthesis – who determines your worth?), but the feedback and reactions we get from people will eventurally come back around to have an effect on our lives. And you care about the outcomes in, which shape, your life.
Life is the aggregate of our outocmes, which were caused by our decisions that came from our thoughts.
Have you chosen not to take control of your life? Do you let it ebe dictated to you? Are you failing to fix self-destructive patterns (thoughts and habits) or to make choices that promote your well-being?
You have to act with intention. It starts with yourself. You can’t leave it up to everyone else to make up for the self-respect you lack (again, see that word?) How you treat you is where all your outcomes will begin.
Because, how we relate to ourselves, we will relate to others. That’s why, when you get around someone who’s in a bad mood, the first inkling is, ’Geez, what’s THEIR problem?’ After that, plenty of people take it personally… but, why let someone else’s mood affect yours? Be coming with your goodness, and it’s not a problem.
You are the “other person” to everyone else. We are, each, the “other person” to everyone else. Just because we know our WHYs does not excuse us from being the “other person” to everyone else. They don’t know our innerworkings. And they can’t be asked to shoulder your burden, if that’s the type of effect you have on them.
How many times have you felt shitty and watned everyone else to feel just as shitty, just so they’d understand? I’ve done that… I have to watch myself, because I’m prone to doing that… and then i had to come to the realization that my mistery was nobody else’s, and that by appearing miserable, I became misterable in their eyes and then my own.
On the other side of that, I have a firend who used to call me “Joy” because that was the impression I had in all our interactions. The impressions we make on others matters.
Not for them.
And come back moreboften, because I’ll be getting into those topics more, and they are FIRE.