This Girl Is On Fire

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After a few days of running around the town, Monday night was mint with a sigh of relief when we realized we didn’t have anything pressing to do. After making dinner together, Jelaine suggested that we paint.

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The pretty colors...

She is a gifted artist, able to understand pigment and light, like other people understand how a combustion engine works or the best time to plant flowers – I am always impressed with her visual artistry. However, as impressed as I am, I also get shy… I’m going to embarrass myself with my lack of skill. I hope she’s ready to see a frog on this canvas. Oh my god, I should have paid more attention in art.

But my hesitation melted away once we started. Rat Pack ballads swung out of the radio, and I felt myself slip into a non judgemental, free space within my mind. Jelaine, I noticed, was in a similar state – her face was pure joy, even though she was concentrating, and I could feel that she had… Lifted.

But I was still completely unsure of what to do!

Wait, I have no idea what to paint, but no pressure. I’m just happy!

Jelaine looked around a bit, but had chuckled and started sketching her idea while I was still contemplating. It was so fun to watch that inspiration come to her. I smiled and took a breath, surveying the paint colors. A deep red-orange caught my eye, so I picked it up and squeezed it right into my canvas.

Then, I grabbed a brush with a stiff chiseled head, and just started moving…

And, before long, I was immersed. Choosing colors and brushes, playing with brush strokes, un-focusing and just letting things flow… what a fantastic time.

Here’s what I ended up with:

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Not bad for a chick with screwy eyesight!

But the results are more than what’s on the canvas. It woke up part of me, to be carefree and creative – it was transformative.

I woke up today on fire. I might still be in shock that I actually made something and it’s pleasant to look at, and it’s a reflection of that moment that I was in with Jelaine, having fun, letting our creativity flow. And then there are her amazing portraits:

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Now, on top of this new personal development, we have pieces of our selves to put around our house! That’s been a recurring theme in our relationship: making things unique to us, creating things that are us.

I think it’s absolutely crucial that I explore my creativity, make things, express myself. It may not be the best, but its me exploring myself, my mind, my life, everything that’s down inside of me that I may not have stayed in touch with over the years.

I also feel like I need to open up these new dynamics because they allow me new avenues to go within myself and understand myself and express myself.

It’s amazing what can happen on a Monday night, if we just open ourselves up.