Self-Determination

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The big truths play out in small ways sometimes…

I recently had a friend inform me that I wouldn’t talk about how poorly another of her friends treats her. It wasn’t a request. It wasn’t an ask. My friend thought that she somehow could dictate what I could and could not say.

I nearly laughed out loud.

It was funny to me because this was a friend who she claims to have a deep connection with. But this is also the same friend that screen names, usually while wasted. What sort of friend is that?

Yet, I was a bad guy for actually saying something about it, for calling out the bad thing. Somehow, because I want her to have standards about how people treat her, I did something wrong.  But, I guess that says more about her standards than mine.

It brought to mind, though, all the cliches and grandmotherly advice and Instagram motivational posts that remind us to worry about our own actions, that we are the captains of our respective ships… Otherwise, we are the only ones we can control.

This friend, I suspect, expected her wishes to be granted because of this world that we live in where people are magically entitled to having their every whim being met. Being completely out of control of her own actions, and getting negative results, she expected to be able to dictate my actions because they weren’t in support of her.

Another thing I suspect, is that a big part of growing up is being able to accept this inability to dictate other people’s actions. But, growing up successfully is taking full responsibility for your actions, and then getting good results from them.

People will talk.
What you do will determine what they have to talk about.

If you put bad out, you’ll get bad back. But if you put good out…

Seems pretty simple.