RIP, Veruca Salt…

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Our egos believe that, if we withhold ourselves from others, somehow we’re teaching them a lesson. *cough* Opposite! *cough*

This thought is kept almost-secret from us. We do it, but don’t really know or think about why. It’s hard to see our own shortcomings.

I know you know what I mean… It might be easier to think about kids doing it. Think of a kid’s voice saying, “Well, I’m not going to play with you anymore…” (And then everyone goes, “That’s preferable, Veruca Salt, you were harshest our vibe anyways…”)

Now, think about when you’ve deliberately ignored someone because you were angry at them.

Same thing!

As adults, we simply have more training about how to manage that ego, but the same thing that drives playground drama can be found in our adult lives.


I find that people have grown even more closed-off as new issues are presented to society; withholding not only of their selves, but of the things that [can] come from them. Like, compassion. Ees no bueno.

I know that I am exhausted by the seemingly–endless supply of ignorant, uninformed viewpoints, and before I grew exhausted, I was intolerant. There’s probably someone out there at this very moment saying the same about liberal ideas, or conservatives, or people who don’t like tomatoes.
In the same way as “they” acted towards the people “they” disapproved of on a surface level, I felt they–because of their views–didn’t deserve compassion.

’For their hate, I shall return hate!!’ …yeah, orrrrr don’t. That, literally, fixes nothing other than “how to propagate drama” & that isn’t in short supply. In truth, of course, withholding compassion does more than not-solve problems… It hurts others. And it hurts ourselves.

And, rather than hurt, tear down, or destroy, why don’t we make things better for ourselves?

Because it IS up to all of us to be accountable for our individual participation & results caused in our society.

That’s how we can view conflict: as the material for more drama, or an opportunity to grow.


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I’ll be following up on this idea with:

  • What “difficult people” can teach us about ourselves.
  • More on how to use the energy of conflict.
  • What learn as I try not to be a judgmental bia & learn more info to help me make my corner of the world just a liiiiiiiittle more illuminated.