The whole You’re perfect just the way you are things—wall hangings, quotes, social media posts, the entire way of thinking…
And it’s totally false.
You’re not perfect just the way you are.
I’m not perfect just the way I am.
Perfect doesn’t exist, at least not when it comes to people. Human attributes can never be qualified, quantified, or defined when they’re inoffensive. Sure, there are ones that are not desirable and others that are generally accepted as faulty.
But, what could you even call a perfect human being?
Would it be based on physical appearance? Fitness? Facial symmetry? Blemishlessness?
Or, would we put more value on the intangible, such as honesty or kindness or considerateness?
Tell me… what’s perfect?
I’ll tell you what perfect is…
It’s subjective, totally based on personal opinion.
The illusion of what perfection is, as well as its attainability, is detrimental to self-love, self-acceptance, mental health, perceptions of reality… it’s total rubbish
So, don’t kid yourself…
You don’t possess all the gifts, which is what perfection would be—utter flawless- and complete-ness.
Neither do I.
So am I.
‘Perfect’ is what you want it to be. Everything in your life, from how it looks to how you behave in it… all of it is up to you to determine and define.
And that’s the kind of freedom of choice and thought and hope that feels really good…
But, is the thought that you could enough?
Or do you want it to be what you see around you every day?
Because that part takes actual work, not merely attaining the mental state conducive to it. The physical expression of thoughts/hopes/desires has to be present in order to create changes in the world around you.
And we don’t get it right every time. I know I sure don’t… but I try to learn from each interaction ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT DON’T GO DOWN SMOOTHLY, like, when I unintentionally clap back or pull a Sheldon on someone (by which, obviously, I mean that I am quick to point out things that seem obvious and jump to solutions in a way that makes people feel bad, in the style of Sheldon Cooper from CBS’s Big Bang Theory).
Do you know what I’ve noticed helps?
Being up-front about my intentions, calling myself out when I know I did/said something intentionally nasty (it’s usually that second one, taking time to assess my feelings so that I can use them effectively before I have to go back and mend what I could have avoided hurting at the start.
And that includes knowing how much of my own time and energy to invest in something.
That’s just good personal economics.
These two help me keep perspective: