Cut to the end for a funny thing, if you don’t like reading.
Today, I came across a term that I haven’t seen or thought about in quite awhile: Lesbian Erasure, the minimization and phasing-out of all things Sapphic in society. It’s in our families, our places of worship, schools, workplaces, and, increasingly, in our own LGBT community.
As A Room of Our Own explains, lesbian erasure “begins with our families… telling us we aren’t really lesbians or it’s just a phase.” It’s present when people seek to reduce our “non-feminine” qualities (“You’re just a tomboy”) or minimizing our same-sex attraction with pejoratives (“dyke” said with a sneer, or “You’re too pretty to be gay!”) or appeals to the deity.
Now, apparently, there’s a beef within the LGBT+ community with lesbians feeling minimized by trans women & underrepresented in the conversation.
And I know it’s real. I’ve felt it, disconnected from people for fear of their ugliness, scared to express exactly how attractive, enchanting, sexy, beguiling, appealing I find women at times. I’ve felt hurt & disgusted by even my own family’s ignorance & fell into a deep depression about that shift in love and respect.
It can be rather lonely.
But they can never erase us.
Nobody can take your feelings, and you don’t require their validation for YOU to be valid.
Let’s be uneraseable—and this is a lesson we can ALL take from this, regardless of sexuality. BE DAMN-UNFORGETTABLE… UNIGNORABLE… UNDENIABLE… IN YOUR LOVE, SPIRIT, KINDNESS, BEAUTY YOU CREATE IN YOUR PEOPLE.
Really. Don’t wait on a spot at the table, or complain when someone takes a seat. Take a seat of your own & use your voice.
Be outspoken about the things you love. Celebrate the people, the art, the ideas, the places that embody and inspire qualities you appreciate.
Talk about those qualities.
Call ’em out when you see them.
Describe what happens when you swear a spirit eagle is going to materialize from your chest.
Ask people about the “thing” that gets their blood pumping.
Give props—if you’re creating goodness, let everyone else look like the a-hole if that’s what’s in their heart. Bring out the good stuff in YOUR heart. That’s all you can do.
If you’re creating feelings, ideas, discussions, relationships, that’s making a place for all of our stories and the kind of recognition so many others crave. That sort of impact can NEVER be erased.
Because that’s what we need: to make our place, to constantly evolve and stay involved, because that persistence will lead to existence. Being there is half the battle. I don’t know about you, but I always have room for mah peeps.
Share with me, if you feel alone. I like learning what makes you get heart-eyes or fired up. Plus, I’m hard to shock & have some killer stories.
And here’s the real Lesbian Erasure (Original photo):