“Just Be Yourself” And Other Lies

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I see a bunch of “Be Yourself” posts going around.

And, like, yeah… we should shake off all the superficial stuff, remove the masks we put on and pretend “the real me” isn’t underneath, and just sigh Be Yourself… We should definitely all be doing that.

I just get concerned that “Be Yourself” is used to justify negative behavior, rather than encourage productive discovery of our true nature. If you are just being yourself, you shouldn’t worry about who loves you & who doesn’t — and I’m saying that from a self-assuredness standpoint AND because of this inexplicable “People will love you anyway” notion I have about it.

I wish there was an open dialogue about our true nature. I wish more people were amazed by the world, this life, and their very own existence. Like, how can you not walk around and feel amazed that, of ALL the possibilities, you came into existence?? And I don’t even care how you think that came to pass..:

If you believe God created you, be amazed that he used all the parts he did so that you’d come out just the way you are. Or be amazed at the care it took to choose all your parts.

If you believe we evolved into this, be amazed considering the incredible odds that you are who you are.

FOUR HUNDRED TRILLION TO ONE.

Wat.

If you counted continuously to 400 trillion, one number per second, without pausing, you would be awake, counting, for just over 12-and-a-half years.

We weren’t intelligently designed or genetically defined to end up sad, or mean, or sick, or ornery, or however else we get when trying to protect our egos. Being yourself has nothing to do with being nasty or self-defensive, lacking self confidence, or indignant. We may feel depressed or anxious, but that isn’t who we are. You may feel anxious or depressed, but that isn’t who you are.

I’ve felt anxious and depressed, disappointed, sorrowful, sorryF annoyed, aggressive… And it took me a long time to do more than know, but to REALIZE, that I was feeling those things, but they aren’t who I am.

At some point, I think around the time it became profitable to sell a frame of mind, we became aware of how we felt. And not in a “I recognize that I am having this emotion” way, but in a more personal, more permanent, less healthy way. We hold onto these emotions, these fluctuations, long after they’re pertinent to the situation or serving us any good.

I know I’ve carried around emotional baggage, rather than extending myself some love & understanding that things weren’t how they seemed, that I wasn’t my pain or anger or confusion. And I wasn’t built to be nasty or confrontational or defensive, even though I felt like being those things.

That sort of stuff isn’t WHO we are. It may be how we feel, but it isn’t who we are.

Those feelings are the things that get in the way. They are the remnants of things past that affected us in some way and, because of that, they are the obstacles to remove in order to access our true selves. I know that, once I let it all go, I was 14935% happier. Once I started being present in each moment, letting go of what crap other people had put on me (their hurt feelings, their emotions, their actions that affected me), everything felt lighter.

To “Be Yourself” isn’t to be harsh or standoffish, and to use those positive sentiments as justification for being that way is a massive disservice.