I’ve been replaying a moment from my junior year of college… it was during a volleyball game in which we were neck-and-neck with the other team, playing on our home floor, trying to eek out a victory to stay in the playoff hunt.
But we were losing momentum. You know, in athletic competitions, when you can feel how things are tipping? Yeah, we weren’t the team on the upside of that tip… We were really on the defensive, not really able to mount an attack of our own.
The other team had our outside hitter’s numbers. It was Shutsown Station over there. And any volleyballer can tell you how finicky OHs are: they’re like frickin race ponies+prima ballerinas. And I say that with love and admiration.
Our right side hitter wasn’t clicking when she was up at the net. And, once she rotated to the back row, our setter was on the front row & that cuts your offensive capability down.
Our middles were going to be our saving grace.
Except… they weren’t really ON. They were trying the same thing & getting the same results: no kills, continued rallies, lost points…
And, whatever is whatever… the part that keeps coming back to me is the way I felt looking at these amazing, Amazonian giraffe-gazelles who I thought were so badass & whose talent I had a lot of faith in.
And I couldn’t believe that they:
- Weren’t dominating the F-CK our of the other side,
- Didn’t believe in their ability to dominated the F-CK out of the other side (or so it appeared), and
- Weren’t demanding the chance to dominate the F-CK out of the other side.
I mean… I used to watch them fly & just be amazed. I loved when the connection between our setter and our hitters was just right… it’s a thing of beauty, always and forever.
I was callous. (Still am… in the right circumstances and much more skilled about making it obvious that I’m joking.)
I liked to tease & smack-talk. (Still do.)
I criticized myself harshly (still do, but at least now I’m aware of it) and they thought I was doing the same to them (I wasn’t).
I didn’t create ‘team’… I didn’t really know how to.
And I still don’t really know how, except now I have learned the importance of:
- Being more expressive about my belief in people;
- Talking about how to succeed (because it all begins in thoughts); and
- Leading with love altogether.
And those things help me—as evidenced in my one romantic and myriad personal relationships—be a better partner, partner-in-crime, bravery enabler, encourager, etc. And I’ve compiled a list of posts that touch on these subjects at the end, so check those out.
Because I’ve learned that I love to see people become that bigger, better version of their selves. I love when people get into the flow of whatever they’re doing & kick but naturally, easily.
I love seeing people win whether it’s on the court or by overcoming self-doubt.
That’s why I enjoy teaching and coaching. It’s why I am an intense person, much less as a friend. It’s why I’ll show up to help move or see a recital or watch an event you’re in.
I like to see the inner light shine like crazy…
Seriously, it lifts me up to see my peeps do their thing. You can ask my family to confirm: I still get so touched watching my brother play sports that I get teary-eyed… “He was just a little behbehhhhhh!!”
I want to see you win.
I want to know how you’re trying to win.
I want to know the things you’re overcoming in order to succeed.
I want to know what sort of prayer or good thought or well-wishes I can keep in mind for you.
So, for real:
I want to know how I can root for you. That’s such a huge thing: give people something to root for for you. It’s not bad to be vulnerable in that way.
Here are a few posts for you to check out that have this & that to do with achievement & self-actualization. I write these things because I wanna see you win (clicking will open a new window):