I spent MANY years of my life trying to please. I sought approval from my family, my teachers, my coaches… and, yes, it brought me plenty of success, accolades, accomplishments, résumé-filler. 10 Signs You’re A People-Pleaser
But, do you know who I forgot to please during all that?
I’ll give you a clue and three guesses.
You’re on her website.
Yeah, you nailed it.
During all the time I spent trying to get others to like me and think I’m worthwhile, thinking that would make me fulfilled, i neglected do the one thing that would ensure that satisfaction: to understand myself, to know my value, and to even know myself fully.
And guess what happened when I didn’t have my family, when there were no more games to play, when the educational and career goals I thought I so desperately wanted to achieve were gone…
I found out that I wasn’t very happy. In fact, I was downright depressed. So depressed, in fact, that for the first 107 days of 2017, I thought about killing myself.
Thank GOD it wasn’t a leap year. 108 may have been too much…
But I’m glad for those dark days. They made me take a long, hard look at myself. I spent a lot of time alone with myself, which gave me a chance to get to know Me, see my flaws and my strengths, and to ask myself what it was that would truly make me happy.
Then, the next step: actually doing things that made me happy.
Do you know how difficult that is? Seriously…
We’re taught not to be selfish, especially those of us who have ladyparts. We’re told to be agreeable. We’re encouraged to go with the flow, not to make waves.
And that can lead to doing things that don’t make you happy. Even things as small as going places that aren’t really your jam, or as big as spending time with people who suck the joy out of life.
Don’t compromise on your happiness. It doesn’t do you any favors.
You are unique.
You can’t be someone else. You are you. You have your own talents and experiences. We all do.
You can use your uniqueness to get what you want, which requires – first and foremost – that you embrace it.
Respect yourself enough to know yourself, and be yourself, and do the things that will make the best of yourself.
Besides, people will judge anyways… and I’d rather be happy doing me while they do! 😁