You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To make a change, build a new model that changes the context of the situation, thus making the old ways obsolete. Then, because the old ways no longer work, a vacuum will exist which begs for a replacement… and that’s when you sliiiiide in with your new solution.
Because, according to the ancient philosopher Aristotle, “Nature abhors a vacuum.”
Aristotle based that conclusion on the observation that nature requires every space to be filled with something, even if that something is colorless, odorless air. And the same principle is at play in every aspect of our lives.
It’s why, when we want to make a change, self-improvement plans immediately come to mind. We have an innate sense of filling the void. We make an effort to defeat our worst habits.
As soon as we empty ourselves of one vice, others move in to take its place, and we end up in the same place as when we started. Thinking about vacuums helps us understand the importance of proactively filling ourselves with good intentions, useful thought patterns, positive behaviors.
The only permanent solution to the problem of negative and/or destructive patterns in our lives is to replace them with being our own respective ideal, which fills the vacuum. The more we are filled with that inspired “divine purpose”, the less room there is for the same ol’ things that keep us down.