I’ve been spending a lot of time looking at the things that get in my way – sadness, regret, insecurity, whatever – and then mercilessly killing the thing, taking away its power, removing it from my life by calling it by name:
“I see you, ______, and I’m done with your crap.”
It’s not easy. It’s scary to be vulnerable. It’s uncomfortable to be uncomfortable. But it’s necessary for growth.
I have to look at the insecurity I feel from not always feeling accepted. Then, I kill it by remembering:
- That many people HAVE accepted me, & DO love me, and…
- That none of it matters & I have to love, accept, secure myself first and always.
My dad used to say, “Have a bad memory,” when it came to mistakes. He said it in the context of sports, but those advices were always the facade for bigger life lessons with him. (Use what you know, huh?)
My “problem” is having an eidetic memory, not just a photographic one. Everything that’s ever happened to me is filed away in my mind’s filing caibinet (or so it feels).
Kinda makes it hard to – poof – forget everything.
So does my defiant nature when I think of all the dismissive people who say things like, “Get over it,” to excuse their lack of compassion, ugliness, or downplay what a b!tcha$$ they’ve been. But! Refer back…. they do/should not mean anything.
What does matter?
Promoting the good stuff.
Pursuing the good stuff.
Being the good stuff.