Top 10 Junk Foods I Could Smash for #NationalJunkFoodDay 

Apparently, today is #NationalJunkFoodDay… Like, why? But, ok, I’ll play along!

Luckily, I don’t crave or habitually eat bad stuff. But I dig a good bout of snacking & I’m not ashamed to admit it. There is nothing better than a bag, bowl, or handful of something crunchy, salty, yummy, or completely void of nutrition when the craving does hit.

So, in honor of this esteemed National “holiday” (an entry in one of dresident drumpf’s genius “theme weeks”?), in no particular order, I present you with…

The Top 10 Junk Foods I Could Smash for #NationalJunkFoodDay: 


1. Chex Muddy Buddies

They’re crunchy and sweet and chocolatey and… connected with all kinds of good childhood memories, like when they made a big batch for Movie Friday in elementary, and my best friend and I shared a cup as we laid side-by-side on our pillows… aww… I should call her.

Also, I think I know my plans for tonight. Ooh… in a blanket fort??

2. Hot Fries

Andy Capp’s 4 Liiiiife

They’re hot. They’re airy. They have a weird texture that I love to crunch.

I can run through a bag like coffee through someone with IBS. They live up to the junk food paradigm perfectly: they aren’t filling, causing us to keep going & going & going, buying more to satisfy the desire to be full. But I love ’em.

3. Chili Cheese Fritos

More memories from my youth. During junior high, I think I helped Frito Lay achieve record sales. The vending machine at school spit out a bag when it saw me coming.

This flavor of corn chips is the best – smoky, kinda tangy, salty… then, with the crunch. Oof.

4. Peanut Butter M&Ms

The superior M&M. …Fight me.

I want to swim in them like Scrooge McDuck swims in his gold coins. And that is NOT hyperbole.

5. Puffy Cheetos

Any of the puffy types… the paws, checkerboards, regular puffy ones. Their airiness just adds a little something to the grubbin’…

Although, it makes me go 😕 that they’re labeled as “Cheese Flavored Snacks”… yikes. 

6. Butterfinger

Butterfinger is a candy bar created in 1923 in Chicago, Illinois by Otto Schnering, which currently is manufactured by Nestlé. The bar consists of a crispy core of creamy peanut butter blended with sugar candy in chocolatey coating.”

Plus, I kinda like picking it out of my teeth after…

7. Twix

Their Left vs. Right ad approach is dumb as all get-out, but I’m a fan of chocolate with a cookie and sticky caramel.

Just… yum.

And there’s two per package, so you can share without having someone bite your part & crunch it all up & string the caramel out… that’s too personal, I don’t care who the other person is.

8. Sour Cream & Onion Pringles

There was that one evening in law school that I mindlessly, study-snack, stress-ate an entire tube of them. And it didn’t turn me off of them, so…

And, sorry, I don’t do the duck lips.

9. Fudgicles

Fudgsicles are the jam.

10. Cheesy Blasters

…and then all the kids say, “Thanks, Meatcat!”

And Meatcat flies away on his… umm… skateboard.

That solidified my love for ’30 Rock’ & came on Netflix as I started making this list! Purrrfect.


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