This post has been a week+ in the making…
I’ve been spending quite a bit of time “with” myself lately… like, jumped feet-first into the deep end. I had to get ahead of myself, cut myself off at the pass before I went where I knew I was headed & have it be a productive, not-negative experience.
Things get dark for me. Dysphoric. Depressed. Disgust-fueled. Dark. It happens when I’m frustrated, hurt, angry… and, lately; there’s been plenty of those to go around. (Just scroll through the last few posts… yeesh)
I was feeling really out-of-touch with myself. And I won’t stand for it any longer. This is no way to be. Like, I seriously had a thought the other day: Screw this… I just want to be happy.
So, I started making stuff… jokes, music, calls and texts, drawings, moving furniture to get the house feeling juuuuust right… and this song came out. It’s not perfect, but it’s from my heart:
I’m on an active search for that place where I used to PWN… I lived in this spiritual sweet spot of being unconcerned with people, just having fun, doing me… & then I got off that track.
And it’s time to get back on track.
I can’t stand to not be in that place.
I know i can’t “get over” what’s bothering me / an entire lifetime has taught me so, and you can sit on a tack if you think it’s just that easy or have been so dismissive about this… but I can do something with it.
This June has been spent looking this issue squarely in the eye, getting to a peaceful place about it, & choosing to separate myself from it… and then frickin ELEVATE above it.
I’m searching for my heartsong.
This is my Declaration of Transcendence.
My happiness revolution has begun.